A while ago I decided to watch more TED Talks. Because they are inspiring and because you can learn something new. About yourself and about life.
One of the first ones I watched was Jia Jiang’s “What I learned from 100 days of rejection”.
And it inspired me – not only to write this blogpost but to rethink my thoughts on rejection.
I advise you to watch it, especially if you are someone who can’t deal with rejection very well (like me), it only takes away 15 minutes of your day! But for everyone who doesn’t want to, here’s a quick recap of the talk.
Jia Jiang had an experience with rejection when he was very young. From that day on he was afraid of it and he always took rejection personally, no matter if it was in his personal or business life. One day he decided that’s not how he wants to go on in life and took on a “100 Days of Rejection”-challenge where he had to carry out different tasks that would more or less certainly evoke rejection, e.g. “ask a strange to borrow you 100$”.
After a while he started asking the people who said no why they did. And suddenly he got told all those reasons that made perfect sense and had NOTHING to do with him.
So why do we always take rejection personally? I’m not saying that rejection’s never meant personally, because unfortunately it sometimes is, but not every time. If a company gives a job to someone else than you, it’s not that you are bad, it’s just that someone else is better. Since I am looking for a job at the moment, that’s something I have to learn as well. It’s never you personally. Not your looks, not your personality. It’s just the circumstances. (And even if it’s your looks, remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder!)
And on top of it all, rejection will always play a role in your life. You will never get places without being rejected. You will (probably) never find the right person in your life without being rejected by a few before that, you will never get your dream job without going through a few interviews and rejections and even in your daily life you will face rejections. So see them as a necessary evil, brace yourself that they will come but also embrace them. You will be just fine!